TECHTALK #10;
HOW TO FUCK UP


HERE ARE A FEW REALLY EXCELLENT WAYS TO FUCK UP UCP AND CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT "IT DOESN'T WORK."  THERE ARE PROBABLY MANY MORE, BUT THESE HAVE BEEN THOROUGHLY TESTED AND ARE *GUARANTEED* TO BE EFFECTIVE.


    *AUDIT SOLO*

Don't try to audit UCP solo. It doesn't work.

It doesn't work for the same reason that a hypnotist doesn't hypnotize himself, and you don't run Dianetic R3R regression on yourself. When you have regressed yourself into some incident 10,000 years ago when you got crushed in a landslide, you're no longer there being the hypnotist running the session . . . you're 10,000 years away, under a pile of rocks, and the session falls apart bigtime instantly like a ton of bricks.

When you deliberately and successfully turn on your dramatizations and fixed ideas, you just plain CAN'T AUDIT. If you could, you wouldn't have a case to handle in the first place.

Don't "RUN" it solo and tell me that you "flattened it in one session" or there was "no charge on it." That's just a great big crock of . . . YOUR CASE!

My former UCP co-auditor is the cleanest case I have ever worked with. He is the only case I have ever audited who was almost completely above death when I first saw him. I ran about 125 hours of UCP on him with CONSTANT CASE GAIN. I have rarely ever seen him misemotional. He is in POWER in his personal life, his family life, AND his business life. He is a well known field auditor with an extraordinary and very well deserved reputation for being amazingly sane.

While he may do SOME solo auditing, he mostly CO-AUDITS, [with people who are quite willing to fly in from other continents to work with him]. HE STILL CO-AUDITS REGULARLY. [Not to misrepresent, he co-audits all kinds of stuff, not just UCP, but he CO-AUDITS!]

I once pleaded with a friend to co-audit UCP, who decided to run it solo over my objection that it wouldn't work, because "I am one of the best solo auditors at flag." Of course, she "discovered" there was "no charge on it" and dropped it after one mini-session because she figure-figured what kind of cognition it "should" lead to, and dubbed-in that she already "knew" that. Naturally, it didn't help her below-death, out-of-valence case problems at all.

Hey, I tried it myself! It didn't work. I ran the TA up and got a lot of protest. I "realized" it was an overrun and an invalidation and I decided I knew WHERE I was and that I WAS in present time and didn't need it, and of course the TA blew right down and I had a HUGE WIDE F/N and FELT GREAT ABOUT IT AND ENDED OFF. Remember, I was an "OT" and all that GOOD STUFF!

That was many years before I painfully realized that *I TOO* was way down below death, along with the numerous other cases who I could CLEARLY SEE were solidly in hallucination. I had to get my teeth kicked so far down my throat by life that they slashed my hemorrhoids to the jugular before I realized I wasn't going to survive at all unless I got a great big dose of my own medicine. Thankfully, my CO-AUDITOR gave me exactly what I needed just in time.

    31JAN2001 NOTES:
    It appears that SOME people ARE doing UCP solo and getting
    very good case gain from it.  How far you can go solo, we do
    not know.  So if you want to try UCP solo, go ahead. But if it
    doesn't work . . . don't blame it on UCP . . . GET A WITNESS!

    We also have the example of people who ASSERT that
    they have done UCP solo and completed it.  But then
    they discovered that invisible shape-shifting man-eating
    Reptiles from Orion are what is REALLY wrong with us. :-)

    An issue on which I have reversed my position is
    TELEPHONE AUDITING OF UCP.  At first I was VERY
    dubious about it, but IT WORKS JUST FINE.  Some
    people may have trouble with it, but most of those I
    know who are DOING UCP work by phone with very
    good results and no big problems at all.  FREE web
    services like dialpad.com or phonefree.com make
    telephone auditing FREE of long distance charges.
   
    Don't think you have to find a local co-auditor!

    If you don't already know someone who want to
    co-audit with you by phone, POST TO ACT to find
    yourself a co-auditor.  I co-audited for months with
    someone who lives a thousand miles away who I
    have still never met in person.  IT WORKED FINE!

    Of course, not every UCP co-audit works, but if
    your UCP phone co-audit does not work, it might
    not be the phone, it might just be your co-auditor.

        FIND ANOTHER ONE AND CARRY ON!

    *FORGET ABOUT THE UNIVERSAL SCALES CHART*

If you don't want to know where you are, what you are doing, or where you are going, just forget about the chart. You won't be needing it anyway, because you probably won't be auditing very long. If you ever start to come UP out of your glee and elation BIG WINS into EFFORT, you are going to think you are PTS or roller-coaster as all hell and coming apart at the seems mmand sliding down [not up] into the black pit.

On the other hand, if you download the chart and print it out and tape it together and STUDY IT until you *SEE* HOW it works and WHY things are aligned where they are, then you will have AN EXTERIOR VIEWPOINT on your case [and the entire universe itself!] which will allow you to correctly identify WHAT is going on with your tone level.

You will SEE the major case INVERSIONS and SEE that when you FEEL WORSE you are probably, [I don't know YOUR case] actually coming UP into EFFORT. IF you are armed with that information, you MAY NOT deliberately bounce yourself back down into hallucination to stop the horror from being conscious.


    *DON'T FINISH THE SESSION*

There are so many ways to do this, I can't make a comprehensive list, but I can share a few really embarassing moments from sessions I totally blew as examples of what NOT to do. Maybe every session you give won't run perfectly. On the other hand, you could have a whole career in UCP without fucking up as badly as I have. THE BEST CURE FOR A BAD SESSION IS A GOOD SESSION.

    * * * * * * *

[SHORT-SESSION TO GIVE CLIENT A "WIN"]
I was doing a first session on a bright but obviously out of valence auditor with plenty of social circuits who was a little manipulative. We were going along okay sometime in the second half hour of the session when she was suddenly TOTALLY THERE, just looking at me, and she WASN'T DOING ANYTHING. All her circuits had stopped chattering away and she was just quietly confronting me. It was astonishingly beautiful; I had never seen her like that. I thought, THIS IS WAY COOL! I wanted to give her a win so she would see how well UCP worked, so I ended the session there. She hadn't come full circle and integrated any awareness of the places she had been looking at. I didn't discuss ending off with her or get her input.

Of course, the process wasn't flat, but she didn't tell ME that or complain to me. She went in the other room and whined to her boyfried that I had gotten her all keyed in and she had a big ARC break, and got him to give her a repair session and assess a repair list and fix her up. Net result . . . she got him waiting on her and got her upset "fixed" by validating her service facs, I had a loss, and the session was never flattened. Of course, that proved to her that UCP "didn't work," and she never had another session of it. If I had properly finished the session, I probably could have avoided all the bullshit, and maybe eventually made a really good UCP auditor.

    * * * * * * *

[PROPITIATE TO CLIENT AND AGREE WITH HIM]
Client is a well-known Scientology Celebrity. He's an "OT" and a heavy-hitter in church business circles. He's a personal friend and has gone out of his way to do me big favors which have been very helpful. I really like the guy and I'm also very grateful to him for mentoring me in several areas. Generally, he's doing VERY WELL in life. Outpoints are: he has a very rocky relationship with his girlfriend, and he's somewhat introverted into his case.

We do a few sessions [two or three] and he's running fine and starting to see how the process works and that it really IS helping him sort out his universe. One day he suddenly and unexpectedly announces to me that he has decided this is a "squirrel" process and he shouldn't be doing it any more.

I am totally surprised and dumbfounded, as he has been running fine. I think the whole concept of "squirrel" is a bizarre idiotic fantasy based purely on delusion, but I don't want to open that can of worms and argue about it. I don't want to antagonize him either. I don't want to ruin our friendship by fighting about something that isn't necessary. I don't know what to do.

I'm not sharp enough to realize HOW this is coming out of his case. I don't fish for HOW he FEELS about this or me or the session, and get another time he felt that way and start comparing. I "politely" agree that I don't want to do something he doesn't think is right, and give up.

I don't think I ever talked to him again . . . so much for our friendship. I see in retrospect that ending off was, to him, effectively equivalent to admitting that I WAS a "squirrel." He became *VERY TIGHT* with the Hubbard family, but I think THEY are all either DEAD or OUT of Scientology themselves, so I guess the "standard tech" they were all getting from the "church" they invented isn't all that workable.

    * * * * * * *

[SEND THE CLIENT STRAIGHT TO HELL, WITH YOUR BLESSINGS]
Client is a wild ego-maniac, hysterically hallucinating, forcefully unremittingly compulsive, nasty, rude, overbearing, aggressive, violent, bright and capable. I do a whole lot of very light duty two way communication type consulting for him. I have to put kid gloves on my kid gloves on my kid gloves to handle him. Mostly I just listen. Occasionally I make a very quiet gentle indications when his compusive ranting and raving pauses for a second. He goes deep-end violent-psychotic in a tenth of a millisecond if I am "holding the phone too hard" or my THOUGHTS are a just a little bit TOO LOUD while I am listen to him rant. However, he raves about my consulting and says I "saved his life." Actually, I HAVE done a great deal for him in many areas, including his health, and maybe even HAVE saved his life.

I finally get him in session to run UCP. Within twenty minutes he has launched into a loud hysterical nonstop tirade about how stupid and fucked up this is and how I am wasting his time and insulting him. He's even more violent and vicious and loud and nasty and rude than usual. He's a world class asshole, and extremely proud of it, and he's going for a world record that will NEVER be broken. I have no session control at all, and I can't even get a word in edgewise for a long time. By the time he has screamed and yelled at me about how fucked up I am, nonstop and nonpause, for most of an hour, it's all I can do to restrain myself from leaping across the room and smashing his face to a bloody pulp to shut him up. I silently decide that, rather than bludgeon him to death here and now, which he richly deserves and is frantically begging for, I will let him have his bloodly fucking case and learn to love wallowing in it, because *I* am not going to help the nasty vile unspeakable piece of shit crawl out of it.

I have gotten so introverted and lost in MY OWN CASE that I have TOTALLY FORGOTTEN about my SECRET WEAPON ["Gee, Did you ever feel like this before?"]. When he finally slows down, I mumble some "polite" agreement about it not working very well and end off. Result: many years later, he is STILL a world-famous rock-solid WORLD CLASS CASE.

One lesson here is that I was *REALLY STUPID* to think that, if I could barely handle his reaction to a quiet polite "Hello" on the phone, I could handle him when he got *CRAZY*! Did I expect him to be DOCILE if we actually STIRRED UP HIS CASE? What was I thinking? I WAS HALLUCINATING, that's what! This was many years before I got some UCP auditing myself.

The other BIG LESSON is NEVER FORGET YOUR SECRET WEAPON: "Gee, Did you ever feel like that before?," or it's endless variations such as: "Who else made you feel like this?"

If I had kept my wits about me long enough to utter just one small phrase, the whole history might have been much different.


    *DON'T START THE SESSION*

[LET THE CLIENT "HAVE HER WIN"]
Client is a Class Six auditor, OT3X, and her life is a disastrous mess. She's living in a house she co-owns with her very-generous ex-husband, but her year of free rent and alimony is running out. She's a powder keg of hallucination, compulsive dramatizations, and bypassed charge, who periodically explodes with rage. She's a user and a minipulator with two live-in boyfriends, the main one being a "Class Four Auditor" who is also a speed freak and career criminal. He spends his time ripping people off and building bombs and zip guns. He is violent and abusive and has strangled her to unconsciousness, but she keeps him around and feeds him for free because she thinks he's a really cool guy and she needs him to help straighten her life out . . . and every time she tries to get rid of him he threatens to kill her, or he slashes all the tires on her car and rolls it down the steep hill into the neighbor's house, or something else equally charming. She took him to court and got a restraining order so he can't come near her . . . but she lets him live in the house anyway.

I do a lot of auditing on her. She is actually a pretty powerful being and RUNS VERY WELL once I get her in session. In between sessions she goes psychotic and abusive and screams and yells at her young kid and slaps him around . . . and attacks me personally with enormous force and hatred. I handle these outbursts successfully but with great difficulty by confronting her vicious flows and indicating where she is on the tone scale and what is going on with her case and what the true targets are, which generally calms her down enough to get her back in session. She responds well to the correct indications, but that doesn't prevent the next hallucination from popping up in blazing technicolor and giving her bizarre, nasty, tone-40 instructions on how to deal with life. In session, she always responds well and gets good TA and sees more and more, and she comes rapidly uptone from the -20 to -30 where she started our series of sessions.

It's tooth-and-nail and touch-and-go all the way, but she makes really rapid progress, and after 30 or 35 hours of auditing, we finally have a breakthrough session where she pops up through death and actually starts to see things from her own valence. It's beautiful!

I'm really proud of myself. I congratulate myself on my incredible TR's and astonishing ability to handle raving psychosis. We have a few more sessions, in which she is mostly above death and seeing things much more clearly. I figure I've "cracked her case." I think I've got it licked and relax quite a bit, and when she tells me she's had a big win and doesn't think she needs any more auditing for now, I GO ALONG WITH IT AND DON'T PROTEST.

It's an endlessly complicated situation, but it roughly shakes out that I got stiffed for the auditing bill, she got back together with the strangler, and I heard a year or two later that she lost the house and had to leave town to get away from him.

Moral? She made rapid progress when she was getting auditing. I stopped auditing.

I thought her case was "gone" just because she got up to death and I was so thrilled to see her "turn the corner".

Didn't I ever hear of 1.1? Didn't I think that the completely unaddressed service facs and lies and continuous overts which pushed her down below death before wouldn't do the same thing again? Didn't I realize that you could be up out of hallucination, but still have raging errors, false computations and insane viewpoints, and continue recklessly in a clearly established life pattern of disaster after disaster? In a word, NO.

What was I thinking of?

I was solidly way down below death in ego-gratifying hallucination, that's what!

I helped her out a great deal, and probably put off her losing the house by a year or more. I didn't mess up her case or damage her life . . . I improved them both hugely. But it clearly was not nearly enough . . . and I stopped just when we had turned the corner and the going was getting easier and easier.

I blew it BIG TIME, after doing most of the hardest and most difficult work. If I had persisted in indicating where she was on the tone scale, and the urgent need for more auditing NOW, I might have gotten her all the way up to living sanely . . . and becoming an excellent UCP auditor.

    * * * * * * *

[LET THE CLIENT "HAVE HIS WIN"]
Client is bright, energetic, talented, personable, and WILDLY manic-depressive in life, and goes "up" and "down" like a yo-yo. He has done some really good UCP sessions [maybe 8 or 10, I forget] and is doing just fine. He sees more and more each session, and we can both see he's moving steadily and rapidly up tone. He raves about my auditing and tells everyone he knows that I have finally cracked his case. Finally, the manic side kicks in *really solid* and he decides that he is "IN POWER," and doesn't need any more auditing.

I stupidly feel that I have to "let him have his win," and I don't want to "invalidate" him, so I don't sit him down with the chart and point to where he was when we started [which he well knows] or where he was when we ended off [which he also well knows] and that he is still a LONG WAY DOWN IN MINUS TONE LEVELS, IN *ENEMY*, NOT POWER. So I just do the social circuit thing and say "Great! Call me again if you want more auditing."

Of course, he is still solidly down in hallucination, and when he flip-flops to the nasty side, he reactively "knows" that UCP obviously didn't handle his case, because here it is "again," so he goes through a few more field auditors trying to handle his desperately out-of-valence self.

    . . .

A year or two later his field auditors got together at the memorial service, when he offed himself in a spectacularly nasty fashion. It was VERY unpleasant for all of us. It still is.

None of us "ruined his case" or "did him in." He was clearly nutso-bonkers from the word go. BUT NONE OF US *SAVED* HIM EITHER, IN SPITE OF HIS [INTERMITTENT] *FRANTIC* PLEAS FOR HELP.

He was coming RAPIDLY uptone with NO problems as long as I audited him. I stopped auditing.

If I had forgotten about my "let the client have his hallucination" "standard bullshit" training, and politely but VERY FIRMLY told his HALLUCINATIONS to fuck off and die, and gotten him back in sessions and way up above death, he'd probably be my friend today.

   
    # # # # # # #


Chances are very good that you're much saner now than I was when I started auditing UCP. In addition, you now have much of the benefit of my trial and *ERROR* experience. You know what WORKS, and a few critically important things NOT TO DO.

It's very possible you can audit UCP better than I did right from the start, and never ever fuck up so badly. Even if you do fuck up, you can take some courage from the fact that I survived ALL these disasters, plus others unmentioned, and still got up above death in spite of them.

The ONE thing I know which resolves both case AND the failure to handle it is MORE UCP SESSIONS.


!!!! PLEASE CO-AUDIT UCP !!!!

WHY MISS OUT?
DO UCP & SEE!

O
    ---  )
\

Konchok Penday
<KP@net-prophet.net>
Research & Technical Writing
Recipient of the Alex Yakovlev
Technical Excellence Award :-)

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