LEGAL OPINION PLEASE

Dear Helena ["Ms. Ho-Ho-Ho, Babble-On"] Kobrin:

I have a question which I believe you are uniquely qualified to answer, i.e.:

[begin question]

Would it be a proper and lawful exercise of freedom of speech to:

1] Compile a list of sources of information about $cientology such as: a] news.groups [alt.religion.scientology, alt.clearing.technology, etc.]; b] netsites [such as Church of $cientology vs. The Net]; c] recent newspaper and magazine articles available to the electronically or digitally challenged.

2] START A WORLD-WIDE "800-$CN-$CAM" NUMBER TO ANONYMOUSLY REPORT CRIMES AND ABUSES BY $CIENTOLOGY STAFF, ORGANIZATIONS, FRONTS, AGENTS AND DUPES.

Make sure it's an 800 number so that Fed Up Org $taff Member$ who don't own enough change to make a phone call can still put in their two cents worth before they Blow [while they still have access to Incriminating Evidence]. Make sure the 800 number is prominently displayed on the list of $cientology Re$ource$.

If 800-SCN-SCAM is taken, 800-CLAM-DIP, 800-X0RG-RAT, 800-SEA-ORGX, 800-BLOW-NOW, 800-LRH-LIES, 800-ME4-XENU, 800-PTS-2LRH, 800-BLACK-PR, or 800-LRH-DEAD will probably do fine. I'm sure there will be MANY other and better suggestions.  {800-BORG-RAT, 800-SEA-BORG}

3] Make up a FLYER such as:

[begin flyer]

$CIENTOLOGI$T$ BEWARE!

Communication is Dangerous!

Data Analysis is Debilitating!

YOU MAY BE ENTURBULATED!
If You Read Any of the Following:

>>>> insert list from #1 here <<<<

Your church [Co$] has properly Declared that these sources contain information which could be quite enturbulating [upsetting] to you, and which could also get you into a lot of trouble with the Ethics Officer if it is discovered that you have read any of them [especially if you do not reveal such overt/withhold/transgressions to said Ethics Officer and Make Amends for your Treasonous behaviour].

Do not go to any of these internet or usenet addresses. Do not read any information at any of these locations. Do not download any of this information. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! You may become upset. You may require very expensive Auditing to repair your case. You may require Ethics Handling to prevent you from enturbulating others. You could lose your job, your spouse, or your children. This information could be dangerous to you economically, socially, and morally. You might be Declared! You might become Fair Game. Do you really want to take this kind of risk by Communicating? That is against all the teaching of LRH! You don't need data from people who have been there and done that long ago.

You just need HCOPL "Keeping $cientology Working." If you just bear in mind that $cientology IS a "DEADLY $ERIOU$" activity, and they'd rather have you "DEAD" than not be a good $cientologologi$t, you'll be OK. CLAY DEMO AND STAR RATE "DEAD" to make SURE that you COMPLETELY understand it. PREPCHECK "Why don't I believe that?" TO BLOW. This is CRITICAL to your $URVIVAL!

If this notice itself has been upsetting to you, please see the Registrar and run out the lock. If that doesn't work, see the Ethics Officer, as you are PT$. If your computer is $UPPRE$$IVE to you, you may have to DI$CONNECT it! Be prepared for the worst. That will ease the $hock of $enselessly $udden $amadhi.

**CALL 1-800-$CN-$CAM TO REPORT CRIME$ & ABU$E$ BY $CIENTOLOGY**

[end flyer]

4] Distribute such flyers at and around "Org$," at $cientology events and their public parking lots, etc.

5] Publish such flyer as ads in the general press.

6] Use your imagination.

[end of question to Helena]

*I* think this would be a wonderfully "fair use" of the freedom of speech. What do you think Helena? Gee! Why Not? How about Mr. Milne/Thurston/Guilmette? Really? Wow! Any other opinions out there?

Do you think I could get a Judicial Ruling on this somehow?

Sincerely yours,

__________

[Co$igned]

Body N. Thetan [TM],

$P3X++, KoX8.08, Henry3.0, NO.T8-P ["Freedom from $cientology" -- Provisional Certificate awarded pending completion of InTurnSHip; Co-Auditing NO.T9, "Freedom From $cientologi$t$."]

** "FULLFILLING THE ROLE OF THE ANTI-RON" **

[All opinions expressed are strictly those of Body N. Thetan [TM]. Permission to freely reproduce is granted to everyone EXCEPT: the Co$, Church of Scientology, Religious Technology Center, Scientologists, $cientologi$t$, their adherents, co-conspirators, agents, co-plaintiffs, assignees, attorneys, dupes, Rondroids, lackeys, employees, employers, blackmailers, blackmailees, etc., generally and specifically, jointly and severally. Penalty for each infringement is $10,000 U.S. [payable in gold on demand] per character per reproduction per day of storage, minimum. Malicious Reproduction Mandates triple penalties. Reproduction or transmission in any way whatsoever validates this contract and its Mandatory Minimum Penalties. Possession of data, printouts or copies is prima facie proof of reproduction or transmission. May not be sold OR fixed-price-donated under any circumstances except by written permission of Body N. Thetan [TM].]