Re: KP2006JUL07
On Mon, 10 Jul 2006 20:34:50 -0700,
Justin White
> KONCHOK.PENDAY wrote:
>> Re: KP2006JUL07
>>
>> On Fri, 07 Jul 2006 12:20:07 -0700,
>> Justin White
>>
>> > Hello KP,
>>
>> Hello, or perhaps
>> Goodbye is much
>> more appropriate.
> Maybe it is for you. Not for me.
I was looking forward
to hello . . . but got a
goodbye in it’s place.
>> > you must not have received my email.
>>
>> No. Unfortunately.
>> Nor your phone call,
>> cancelling the plans
>> we made by phone.
>
> I sent several. I found it difficult to contact you by phone. I did not
> have your number to hand. JR had it somewhere but I mostly just wanted
> to be out of his apartment. I found him draining. Being talked at 24/7
> is no fun.
You DID have an invitation
to come visit me. You could
have left any time I suppose.
WHY would you stay in the
apartment being talked at
24/7 when you were in NY?
>> > I decided not to come to the west coast this time around.
>>
>> And didn’t bother to
>> talk to me about it
>> before you left.
>
> “Did not bother” is not how it seemed from my end. More like was
> incapable.
If all else failed,
you could have
posted to alt.ucp.
>> > I my heart is back in Australia
>>
>> Then why did you
>> come to the USA?
>
> Because that was where all my attention was.
OK.
>> Especially if you can’t live
>> without it for a few weeks?
> I could and and did. I was gone for a few weeks any longer and I would
> have been financially fucked. Following my intuition saved my arse. It
> is churlish of you to try and make me feel bad for doing what was in my
> best interest.
OK. Perhaps you
could have handled
both situations.
>> Three weeks ago you were
>> talking about getting back
>> to the states again, it
>> sounded like long term.
> Not yet. It was a fact finding mission, I guess. I do not have the
> papers and shit to work there legally.
OK. You could have
discovered many facts
IF you had visited me.
>> > and I can definitely be more effective from there
>>
>> ????
>>
>> At doing WHAT?
>
> Recording music for now.
>
>> Certainly not building
>> a UCP community.
> How does me going to visit you make a community?
It’s a start, not an ending.
>If I have no prospects
> nor ability to support myself then I am basically fucked.
You didn’t have any place
to stay in new york either.
Gosh!
Were you fucked?
Thanks to who?
>> > at this point in time. I leave for there today.
>>
>> Without talking to me about it.
> So you could try and change my mind?
Or you could try to change mine!
Or give me a clue what to hexpect?
>I would have loved to call you to
> let you know what I was doing.
You didn’t seem to
be trying very hard.
>I found nothing really worled very well
> over there.
You just got a free place
to stay, 2 blocks from
grand central station,
with an expert guide
to the city thrown in!
What a clusterfuck!
>None of the logical stuff worked and the only things that
> worked out were when I followed my intuition.
I have no idea what worked out.
Certainly nothing to do with me.
>> > I need to raise capital…
>>
>> When did you not?
> I always had to. And now I realise what I have to do. I am sorry you do
> not understand. Basically follow your heart and you will be alright.
I’ve heard other people say that, but
not all of them were convincing to me.
There might be some other factors!
>> For what?
> To buy land, building materials, trees, solar panels etc etc.
OK.
Those things are all good,
but without a sane group,
they may not be all that fun.
Rajaneesh had all that!
And much more!
Look Now!
>> Did you think
>> you can BUY
>> a community?
> I can build somewhere for people to live and invite them to come and
> stay there. Provide some stability to practice UCP. Is that ok with you?
Sure!
Invite me!
I’d love to visit!
In the meantime,
I tried to share
what I already
have with you.
>> > and I can more easily do that from Australia
>> > at the moment.
>
>> This is SO urgent
>> it can’t wait even
>> a couple weeks?
> I have been waiting on this at least 10 years. Any more time in the US
> without a form of income and I would of been facing bankruptcy.
I found you a place to stay.
I might have found you a
form of income, IF you
had asked, or come
for a visit as agreed.
>I was unable to look at how much money I had while I was there.
And your bank doesn’t have a telephone!
>My internet banking did not work from the US.
And you couldn’t call or email?
I thought internet banking
worked wherever you
have internet access.
>It was my intuition that saved my ass.
From your lack of preparation?
>> > I need to work on my communication project which is my music
>>
>> You have an urgent deadline for release?
> How about already done?
???? If it’s already done,
why is there a rush now?
>> You can’t work on that in any country?
>
> I cannot lug a whole bunch of instruments and recording equipment to
> america easily.
OK.
>> Don’t you have a communication project with me?
>
> Yes. Send your phone number to my email address and we can discuss this
> more fully. There is much more I want to talk about.
That’s the idea of a visit!
I resent my numbers
several days ago.
>> . . . that suffers from not enough communication?
>
> Absolutely. I feel that I have numerous things trying to prevent free
> communication between me and many people. Consequently I have
> difficulty trusting people. I remember being fucked over so many times,
> you should know.
I find it much harder
to trust people I have
never even met, even
if I love their digital self.
That’s the idea of
a personal visit.
>> > and will basically be an open invite to join my (our?) UCP community.
>>
>> You have a UCP community?
>
> You know I do not, save the sarcasm.
OK.
>> Fantastic!
>> Who’s in it?
>> Where is it?
>
>> I do not have a UCP community.
>> I have a fantasy of one, but the
>> UCPeons have not showed up.
> Do you have somewhere where they can live?
I certainly *DO* have a place
where YOU could have lived
for some weeks while we talked
about whatever was important.
>Permanently?
MAYBE!
That’s one of the things
I wanted to talk about.
>If not then it is no wonder no one has showed up.
Gosh!
There are about a dozen UCPeons
on this planet that are above zero.
ONLY TWO of them have hexpressed
strong interest in a UCP Community.
Those two are me . . . and you!
Half of them are here now.
I WAS hexpecting the other
half to show up for a visit.
>Somewhere people can devote
> themselves to self improvement
>without worrying about where they are
>going to sleep and where their next meal is coming from?
That sounds nice, but
HOW are you going to
get there if you can’t
do UCP when you are
hungry and homeless?
If you can’t self-improve
when you are a catastrophic
disaster, we have no hope.
I specifically told you a place to stay
and food to eat were NO problem
while you were here visiting me.
>> My other friends are more reliable.
>
> Your other friends probably live close to you
Some. Most are far away.
>and have sources of income
I might even have
found you that IF
you had come.
You didn’t ask.
>and support networks
Gosh!
I thought I was your
support network
here in the US!
>and all the other things that are necessary
> to run a body.
I’m quite sure
I could have
kept you alive,
or died trying!
>> You plan to invite people
>> to join a community that
>> does not exist, but decline
>> my invitation to start one?
> I only declined to visit you, now.
OK.
>That is not declining to have a
>community with you for all time.
OK.
It’s just a No Interest Now.
That’s a big difference to me.
>> Where else might you be?
>In Oregon awaiting the end of the world with you
>while having creditors chasing me for loan repayments?
Hey!
The nice thing about
the end of the world
is no loan payments!
But that wasn’t my plan.
>> > While in New York I managed to get a feel for what we are really up
>> > against.
>
>> Who is we?
>
> I do not know.
>You decided to take my not showing up as an eternal rejection.
Not at all.
Just a no interest now.
That makes a huge
difference to me.
>All I thought was that the time was not right.
Yes. I understand.
>> What is that?
> A society composed of slaves and slavemasters. A pyramid scheme with
> people climbing on top of each other to reach the non existent prize.
And you have to change that to do UCP?
I thought UCP was HOW to change that:
It’s the payoff . . . not the prerequisite.
> A city patrolled and regulated to the hilt. Marines walking around the
> city streets a country at war with the world. A secret cabal eating
> caviar in nice restaurants while they destroy the world…
Yes. That’s what we have.
I’m glad you noticed that!
How to handle it is the
long conversation we
are not having now.
>> I think I must be up
>> against something else?
>
> ? Yes like what ?
>
>> Perhaps against nothing?
>> Or serial non-appearance?
> Maybe look at that. Are you scaring off all your would be allies by
> cursing them if they do not behave exactly as you want them to?
I don’t believe I cursed you.
I certainly did have false
hexpectations hexplode.
>> > In every diaster there is immense opportunity.
>> You had an opportunity
>> to come see me and
>> get to know each other:
>> to startest a community.
> No I had an opportunity to become bankrupt.
You had MANY oppurtunities.
SOME you paid attention to.
Others you ignored completely.
>> You were not interested.
>If you label it this you create it.
I described it as I perceived it.
>I saw it totally differently.
So you describe
it as you see it.
>I still see a future for us and others.
Sure!
WHAT future is the question.
>> What opportunity did you see?
> To create a safe space. A sangha. Somewhere to escape most
>of the insanity in the world and invite others into that.
I have a bit of that.
I invited you to see.
>> > There is no
>> > bigger opportunity than now to change the world the better.
>>
>> You had no better
>> opportunity see me.
> None better in the past, plenty of opportunuties in the Future.
OK. Until then . . .
>> What kind of changes are
>> you planning . . . with who?
>With anyone who wants to play.
I thought I wanted to play.
>Once I build it people will come.
I think about building trust and
understanding between people
before developing infrastructure,
though I am trying to do both.
>Ever see “Field of dreams”?
Yes.
>Corny movie but it is similar what I am going to
> do. Build a field and the players will come.
I think if you build a team,
you will have lots of help.
>> > While in NYC I discovered a whole lot of things about my past.
>>
>> But nothing about the
>> present and potential
>> futures I wanted to
>> share with you.
>
>We can still talk about that now.
But I can’t take you around an SHOW you things.
I can’t introduce you to people I think you will love.
>What is needed for your futures to become reality?
Other players in my game.
>Why am I so vital in your futures?
You are the only bodhisavage
I know who talks ucp community.
That doesn’t make you vital,
but it put you on top of my list.
>> > I know exactly how to procede
>
>> FANTASTIC!
>> PLEASE TELL ME!
>
> I would basically not worry too much about the land that was stolen
> from you.
How much is too much worry about
millions of dollars of property, which
was my only “safe haven” to live at?
>Have a look for some places that seem good now.
I’ve been looking for over 40 years.
That’s the only place I found for me
so far. I hope my luck changes . . .
for the better!
>Choose something as if money were not an obstacle.
I’m trying to get away from
working on an AS IF basis.
It hasn’t worked well so far.
>> I DON’T KNOW AT ALL!
> Neither do I. God does.
>Or my intuition or heart or whatever.
What ever.
>When ever I have followed it has worked out for me and everyone.
It certainly did NOT work out for my hexpected visit!
>It seems god works for the greatest good,
>when people tune into that creativity
>nothing is impossible.
Except a visit?
>> > and the philosophical frame work I am working from.
>> I’ve been trying to work
>> from personal interaction,
>> not philosophical framework.
> Okay. That is fine. There is nothing stopping us communicating more.
>> I’m overstocked now on
>> philosophical frameworks,
>> but way short on people
>> who have any real clue.
>Sorry but I cannot be your bitch or your buddy right now,
OK. That makes it hard
for me to be your buddy.
>everything is moving so fast now.
WHAT “everything”?
>But I can help you out heaps
Yes! You have already!
That’s hexactly why you
got my attention so well!
>(only if it is part of the master plan)
WHOSE master is planning this?
I don’t think it’s MY master plan!
>> It’s quite hard to find those.
>> You may have to make them.
>> That’s quite a big undertaking.
>> It seems to take years at least.
> It could take months in the right kind of community. IF you had a self
> sufficient community where UCP was basically the thing you do before
> going out and growing veggies and playing music etc.
YES! . . . *IF!*
But then we could have
had a great visit, IF you
had actually gotten here!
>> > I know how much you were looking forward to my visit.
>>
>> But nevertheless cancelled
>> our mutual plans for a visit
>> and went back to australia,
>> without even talking to me,
>> while I was expecting you to
>> come visit for several weeks.
> See above. I’ll talk in detail on the phone.
OK.
>> Is that how community works?
>No. Communication should be easy.
>In the real world of psychotics it is anything but.
>And we are not part of a community yet.
I agree! I can’t even
get you to visit me!
>We are planning one.
But not doing
what seems like
the next step to me.
>I am snatching at straws as the whole world seems to be crumbling.
But you REFUSED the straw I offered.
>> > But when I do come I will be riding the crest of a wave
>>
>> Without any of the
>> viewpoints or info
>> I thought it vital to
>> share ASAP.
> Can you talk to me over the phone about them?
Can we spend a couple of
weeks on the phone, while
going about our lives?
>> Should
>> I care what you do
>> or don’t arrive on?
> I do not know. I do not really get lonely. There are people everywhere.
Yes! Lots of them!
Which ones would
you trust enough
to leave your kids
with when you die?
>> I wanted to see YOU,
>> not the horse you
>> didn’t ride in on.
> Later…
OK.
>> > rather than running from the white wash.
>>
>> ???? I thought you
>> were COMING TO?
>> not running from.
>
> I was coming to. But the world is falling apart. There really are not
> that many places where a physical culture will survive. I want to
> establish my self in one of the few places that has a future.
Gosh!
Aren’t you the one predictiing
Arizona will be safe ground?
Aren’t I the one with a place
in Arizona, that may or may
not be gone for good?
>> Apparently I had multiple misunderstandings.
> Which were they? I’ll let you know if you were wrong or not, or just
> out of time.
No Interest Now corrected
my errors and hexpectations
. . . or at least a few of them.
>> Your co-operation on the
>> TDDUP project was stunning!
>
> Okay.
>
>> We got a beautiful Product!
>> I really wanted to thank you
>> in person if at all possible.
> I know you appreciate it. That is cool.
Good!
>> Your co-operation so far on
>> community looks more like
>> Liability than actual Product.
>It too early for you too make any calls on that.
No Interest Now is the current call.
>Besides I am not here to please you.
Certainly not!
I was here to please you,
but you had no interest now.
>> > Thanks for all your help re: setting me up with somewhere to stay.
>>
>> To help you conserve
>> your money so you
>> could come visit me.
>
>> We talked about that.
>
> *I* talked about that. From your end it did not sound conditional.
No. It wasn’t a contract exchange.
I THOUGHT YOU *WANTED* TO VISIT.
Then it turned out you didn’t want
to do that it all. The impression I
got was you are Afraid to see me.
The Shock was realizing
you didn’t WANT to visit.
>> Remember?
>>
>> > P.S Feel free to write bad things about me… ;-)
>>
>> No need.
>
> You already have.
>
>> > Justin
>>
>> I have no idea what you
>> came to NY to accomplish,
>> or whether you did or not.
>
> It was not a head mission of accomplishing rational head goals. It was
> a intuitive heart led journey that revealed to me everything I wanted
> to know. I will tell you about it when I call if you like.
I found out what I
needed to know too.
>> I don’t understand your
>> priorities or actions at all.
> I know. That is obvious to me.
Both of us now!
>> Did you fly from Sydney to NY to
>> deliver flowers and buy a guitar?
> No. My heart said go, I went and discovered many things about myself,
> met many interesting people and learned from many different people.
I’m sorry I wasn’t on your list.
You were definitely on mine!
> I gained huge confidence in my abilities
While I lost some.
>and I tapped into a creative force that can change the world.
Show us your stuff!
>Not bad for a 3 week trip.
But nothing to do with me.
>> You could have sent the
>> flowers by wire, and spent
>> an extra $1,500 on a guitar,
>> without leaving australia.
> I could have wired the money to you aswell. But it was my trip not
> yours. Of course it does not make any sense to you.
It makes sense,
it just doesn’t
relate to me or
UCP community.
>> My sad general impression of
>> this whole episode is WASTE,
>
>> From your POV possibly. But I do not view it that way at all.
>>For a trip I believe it matched my ideal scene.
OK.
>> but at least I corrected some
>> of my misunderstandings and
>> revised my hexpectations . . .
> What did you expect?
I expected you to visit.
>> which were seriously in ERROR.
>
> Okay. Perhaps they were or maybe your expectations were premature?
>Do you suffer from premature expectation ?
No. I suffered from false perceptions
and consequently erroneous predictions.
> Remember to email me your number.
I sent them again.
KP
> All the best
>
> Justin
>
>>
>> KP
>>
>>
>> ==========================
>>
>>
>> > KONCHOK.PENDAY wrote:
>> >> KP2006JUL07
>> >>
>> >> NEW DISTRIBUTION:
>> >> BLOG: blogicalthought.blogspot.com
>> >> NEWSGROUPS: alt.ucp,alt.consciousness,alt.meditation,
>> >> alt.clearing.technology,alt.spiritual.enhancement,
>> >> alt.self-improve,alt.religion.scientology
>> >> REPLY-TO: alt.ucp
>> >> =============================
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> KP2006JUL07
>> >>
>> >> 10:00 AM NOW:
>> >> [yawn] [yawn]
>> >> Not sure what
>> >> to look at now.
>> >>
>> >> My personal scene
>> >> continues to be
>> >> mostly comfortable,
>> >> though the conditions
>> >> that support it, both
>> >> local and international,
>> >> are definitely eroding.
>> >>
>> >> [yawn] [yawn]
>> >> Still spending a LOT of
>> >> time every day reading
>> >> news accounts of the
>> >> global catastrophe
>> >> now unfolding on
>> >> a planet near you.
>> >>
>> >> It’s already been a
>> >> devastation to every
>> >> one but the zionazi
>> >> robber barons and
>> >> their crime juniors.
>> >>
>> >> It’s getting worse.
>> >> We already have
>> >> World War, and it
>> >> is heating up fast.
>> >>
>> >> [yawn] [yawn] 10:12
>> >>
>> >> It turns out the people
>> >> who stole our land are
>> >> mobbed up, and the
>> >> judge appears to be
>> >> working for them.
>> >> He blatantly lied to us
>> >> about the law at the
>> >> confidential Settlement
>> >> Conference, in a brazen
>> >> attempt to force us to
>> >> give our land away in
>> >> exchange for keeping
>> >> a few acres of it. Worse,
>> >> our lawyer went along
>> >> with the scam attempt.
>> >> How to handle that is
>> >> unknown to me now.
>> >>
>> >> [yawn] Of course, the
>> >> people who stole our
>> >> country are mobbed up
>> >> too: they own the mob.
>> >>
>> >> [yawn] 10:16 Of course
>> >> there ARE areas of hope:
>> >> Iraqi Resistance, Iranian
>> >> Independence, Russian
>> >> Resurgence, Venezualan
>> >> Victory, and so forth.
>> >>
>> >> However, “WE” hate them
>> >> because of THEIR freedom to
>> >> say “No Thank You” to JUSA
>> >> “freedom and democracy” …
>> >> so thoughtfully delivered
>> >> via bullets, bombs, bribery
>> >> and Deadly Uranium [DU]
>> >> International War Crimes.
>> >> Chavez’s Asylum offer to
>> >> american GI’s is brilliant!
>> >>
>> >> 10:25 [yawn] [yawn]
>> >> So I’m watching global war
>> >> while working to improve
>> >> my tiny corner of the world
>> >> as best I can, despite it all.
>> >>
>> >> Overall, it feels like climbing
>> >> the mast of a sinking ship.
>> >> It won’t keep the ship afloat,
>> >> but it might buy me a few
>> >> extra minutes of dry time.
>> >>
>> >> It’s a bad scene, but it’s
>> >> the best option I see now.
>> >>
>> >> [yawn] [yawn] It does
>> >> give me some time for
>> >> introspection. I haven’t
>> >> been doing many formal
>> >> sessions, but I spend lots
>> >> of time in Contemplation.
>> >>
>> >> I AM doing a formal session
>> >> right now. [yawn] [yawn]
>> >>
>> >> That’s important. UCP Sessions
>> >> have vastly improved MY LIFE
>> >> lately, despite global collapse.
>> >>
>> >> The hexternal situation is
>> >> roughly the same, but my
>> >> internal awareness is UP.
>> >>
>> >> That has allowed me to
>> >> respond better to the
>> >> spinsanity around me.
>> >>
>> >> I even got a psychotic
>> >> to make a sane decision
>> >> recently. Whether she
>> >> will actually DO anything
>> >> differently is another
>> >> question, but at least
>> >> she had the right idea
>> >> [don't eat deadly poison]
>> >> briefly for once in her life.
>> >>
>> >> [yawn] 10:40 [yawn]
>> >> [yawn] 10:48 [yawn]
>> >> [yawn] On the other
>> >> hand, there are some
>> >> good things happening.
>> >>
>> >> Justin is coming to visit,
>> >> which thrills me with
>> >> tantalizing possibilities.
>> >>
>> >> I’m working on cleaning
>> >> up my crap, and ordering
>> >> the other stuff for USE.
>> >>
>> >> I’m working on my awareness,
>> >> to be more able to take effective
>> >> actions whatever the situation.
>> >> [yawn] 10:56 I feel like I’m
>> >> just around the corner from
>> >> some major breakthrough . . .
>> >> but I don’t quite know where
>> >> to find it yet. I guess that’s
>> >> true until you are at tone 40,
>> >> but I least I feel it now: for
>> >> a long time I only felt the
>> >> disasters I was in and the
>> >> ones that were coming fast.
>> >>
>> >> Now some possibilities for
>> >> perfection are perceptible too!
>> >> [yawn] That’s a start! Working
>> >> with them is a hexcellent way to
>> >> postpone some of the disasters.
>> >>
>> >> The hexternal conditions are not my
>> >> ideal scene at all, but perhaps I can
>> >> respond to them in MY ideal way.
>> >> I notice that since I got to HAVE my
>> >> consciousness is much more stable.
>> >>
>> >> The good and bad possibilities for the
>> >> future have less whiplash on ME as they
>> >> change from good to bad and back again.
>> >>
>> >> I’m more focused on what I can DO to
>> >> avoid disaster and enhance success.
>> >>
>> >> [yawn] That’s much better than having all
>> >> my attention CAPTURED by impending doom,
>> >> and then wailing inconsolably about my demise,
>> >> which hasn’t even happened yet, and may not.
>> >>
>> >> [yawn] 11:11 [yawn] [yawn] [yawn] [yawn]
>> >> [yawn] I think part of the solution is not to
>> >> focus on the good, or the bad, but to remain
>> >> aware of it ALL, as I work to enhance options,
>> >> possibilities and actualities I DO HAVE right now.
>> >>
>> >> [yawn] [yawn] [yawn] [yawn]
>> >>
>> >> I don’t know what I’m yawning about.
>> >> I guess I’m yawning about Don’t Know.
>> >> Well, at least I Know I Don’t Know yet.
>> >>
>> >> I’ll have to keep on Looking until I See.
>> >>
>> >> 11:31 = about 1:30 this session.
>> >>
>> >> THANKS FOR READING!
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> O
>> >> — )
>> >> \
>> >>
>> >>
. . . SNIP old sig . . .
